Moving to Subic Part III: Seeing Subic as a Blessing

So far this is the third (and hopefully the last) post I’ve written about my upcoming move to Subic. I never really realized until I was writing things down how significant this is for me. I think this is the biggest change I’ve ever allowed myself to make in my whole 30 something years of sheltered existence.

But like I said in my last entry,  although I looked at the transition with impending doom initially, I’m actually at a point where I’m beginning to get excited about it.

Here are my reasons:

1. I’m beginning to love Subic

When my fiance first started working in Subic, he was telling me about the ” Subic Magic” that residents allegedly experience: Apparently if you visit often enough, you would never want to leave. For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine why.  But shockingly, this magic also started creeping in on me. The more I visited him, the more I loved life in the Bay.

I mean, activists, you could say anything you want about these “arrogant” Americans, but they sure know their urban planning.  Not only did they pick a perfect spot to build their base, but they also made everything so easily accessible. You have the central business district where you can work, do your shopping, have coffee with friends (I just really don’t have any at the moment) then a stone’s throw away you have the forests and the water. It’s pretty awesome.

I may be indifferent to the trees and the animals, but I sure as hell love the sea. So I’m kilig at the prospect of hitting the beach any time I want to. I can even imagine myself driving to Zambales and surfing  (must learn how to properly drive and surf first, but those are minor details).

Aside from the beach, there is also duty-free shopping (do you know that they have a Mango outlet store that sell clothes at 50% off?? 50%!! I almost fainted with joy when I discovered it) where you can buy those coveted PX goods for cheap. There are also a lot of great restaurants (I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a bad meal in Subic).

To top things off, the roads are in great condition and there is no traffic!! I can get anywhere in minutes!!

So in a few months time, I went from whining about mumus and monkeys, to raving about everything else Subic has to offer.

 

Picture of the Subic Landscape. Entire area is surrounded by water. You can actually hang out in the Central Business District and still have a great view of the sea. (Photo taken from Wikipedia)

 

One of Subic’s most famous resorts/landmarks. Photo taken by me! 🙂

 

 

 

2. We were starting to be okay

I’ve mentioned quite liberally in the stuff that I’ve written that my boyfriend and I were pretty rocky for a long period of time (months, years depends on when you start counting). But miraculously, things just started getting fixed. We didn’t go through a dramatic a-ha moment where we ran into each other’s arms and vowed not to hurt each other again. Gradually, things just started stabilizing. We really just both reached a point, although not simultaneously,  that we were sure we wanted to be together. (I got to give him props for really pushing and fighting for it though, I was so ready to throw in the towel during the last stretch).

And take away the emotional drama that pervaded our relationship, I was able to think more rationally and clearly:

We were both sure we wanted to get married. His career in Subic provided us with financial stability. My business in Manila, because it was not close to stable, provided us with the ocassional mani-pedi. Umm… kinda a no- brainer.

3.  The stint in Subic is my chance to re-evaluate my career options

Unfortunately, my work life is pretty dismal. And I don’t think I have anyone to blame but myself. I’d like to think I’m an intelligent, discerning and introspective person. However, I’m a total dud when it comes to figuring out a decent career for myself. Ever since I graduated from college, I flitted from one job to the other without really thinking things through. And it’s not as if failed miserably in any of the work that I stumbled on, I actually did a fairly decent job in most of them. But I have to admit, I make a lot of decisions without thinking things through so I get very shaken when problems arise and lose all enthusiasm. I can be quite determined and resilient with personal matters, but I easily quit when I encounter difficulties at work.

And what makes matters worse, I usually find a legitimate excuse to give up. Whether it’s my dad getting sick or financial constraints, I find a way to squirm out of my latest endeavor.

The thing is, in as much as I pretty much have a stable personal identity, I don’t think I have a clear-cut career identity. If that makes any sense. I even wrote a Masteral thesis about it (finding your identity in your twenties). A thesis that I also never finished. Hehehe.

When the move to Subic becam a given, my then-boyfriend made the most touching generous offer: He told me he was willing to support me financially until I finally find my career-footing and figure out what I wanted to do. And if I end up wanting to just run the house and not find a job, then he was ok with that too.  I was dumbfounded. I always had this mindset that taking a break  from a job was not an option. I would always just plow my way through them, thinking if this particular one didn’t work out then I absolutely had to find the next one immediately.

Needless to say, I was incredibly moved by the offer, especially since we’re starting our marriage life with absolutely nothing- no financial help from either of our parents, no backups, just the two of us trying to really figure things out. It was really heartwarming to know that he was willing to support us while I try finding myself.

So here’s our gameplan: Once I move to Subic, I assess what’s there for me career-wise. Then I take my time, do my research on these options before making the decision. In the meantime, I play housewife to my very driven, very career-assured husband.

4. Subic could be a fresh start from both of us

In as much as I have a lot of love and social support in Manila personally, at least at one point, there was also a lot of negativity surrounding us a couple.

The ordeal that we went through left us with a lot of bad memories. Certain places, events, people were just a constant reminder of issues that we were trying to let go of.  Sadly, we also experienced some  backstabbing and gossipping and had to deal with strained relationships while we were trying to move forward.

And although I was far from blaming anyone for things that happened  (there were probably certain things that we did to contribute to the mess) and was determined to just roll with the punches, it was draining to deal with the constant bad vibes.

From being a place that I dreaded, Subic became a haven – a place where we could heal from the toxic things that happened to us in Manila.

It’s funny how the Universe works, a good friend and our future ninong told me that sometimes God doesn’t answers your prayers the way you want Him to because He has something better for you. And because as human beings we have a limited capacity to fathom His infinite plan, we don’t immediately  recognize these  blessings and sometimes even see them as obstacles.

That’s exactly how I felt about Subic. When I was praying for clarity and peace, my boyfriend was offered a job in Subic.  I initially saw this as another challenge that we had to go through as a couple. And another sacrifice I had to make as an individual.

But once I opened my heart to all the possibilities, I saw it for what it really was: An answer to my prayers.

Advertisements

Moving to Subic Part II: Making the decision

Just to recap: Boyfriend was offered a job in Subic. After thinking things through, I realized it was the perfect opportunity for him. So decided to not hold him back and support him.

Obviously, given the length of the time we had to make the decision, I still had a lot of misgivings about it. I was happy that he found his dream job. But it still left alot of uncertainties in our relationship.

I mean, he’s where he was supposed to be. But where did that leave me?

When this was all happening, we were far from being engaged. Infact we were in a make or break stage as a couple. But since we have been together for a decade, marriage was on the table.

Being in a long-distance relationship was never an  option. Especially if we were already thinking long-term. However, at that point, I wasn’t sure if Subic was for me.

Here were my reasons why:

1. House is musty

His job offer came with a house that he could use for the duration of his post. It’s actually a nice house. Probably an officer’s place back when Subic was still an American base. But it hasn’t been used for years.  I don’t mind the usual wear and tear (a leak on the roof, broken cupboards),  but it smelled unbelievably funky. His company had allotted budget to fix the place up, but I wasn’t sure if the moldy smell came from mildew growing in between the walls. If that was the case, the place needed a major overhaul and I don’t think they would shell out that much money.

I know I was being a priss, but I really am deathly allergic to dust and mold.   Just going through my closet for a bit of spring cleaning would send me into a sneezing frenzy. My allergies are so bad that I’m immune to alot of antihistamine meds. I only have one nasal spray that works on me, and I have to use it sparingly because doctor feels I might get immune to that too.

2. House probably has mumu

Behind the house is a virgin forest. Personally,  I believe in spirits, ghosts,  fairies, dwarves, kapres and all those  crazy other world entities. And although I’m from being a wimp, living right infront of an untouched forest for me is asking for trouble (watch enough Filipino horror movies and you’ll know what I’m talking about).  The last thing that I want is to be alone in the house while he’s at work, and I have some ghost trying to make nice.

Tree from the Subic forests (photo taken from Subichomes.com). Doesn’t it look like a luxury condominium for kapres and tikbalangs? 🙂

3. There are monkeys and birds and all sorts of animals in the  backyard

Like I said, house is surrounded by a virgin forest. And if you look out the window,  aside from flocks of birds, there are probably 100 monkeys (not exaggerating) climbing trees and going about their business. As a matter of fact, they’re so at home in the entire Subic area that you often see them crossing the streets, going through the trash etc.

I know of people who would probably clap with glee at just the thought of being this close to nature. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. I’m so not an animal lover. I’d croon over a cute puppy, but that’s it. I don’t have the urge to own one nor take care of one (although in a weak vulnerable moment, I wanted a tiny furry shitzu).  Besides, these monkeys are not the sweet, docile, endearing ones you see on TV. They’re hooligans.

I was warned by someone from Subic that I should never ever make an attempt to feed the monkeys (as if I needed a warning!). There was a particular story of some guy who gave one monkey food. The following day, around the same time, monkey knocks on his door and asks for more food. Although utterly amazed, he ignores it and shuts the door. It kinda goes berzerk and tries to unlock the window.

Just thinking about them makes me nervous. Truth be told, I’d rather deal with an errant spirit than a hungry monkey.

Monkeys chillin’ on the side of a road in Subic like they own the place. (Photo taken by another blogger, vanou.net

4. Everything around Subic Bay closes at 12. Select establishments close at 1.

It gets eerily quiet at night inside the Freeport Zone. And although I think I’ve seen the last of my partying days, I am an insomiac. So it’s sort of disconcerting for me to have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING close by midnight.  Besides, it would be nice not to pay for toll just to satisfy a midnight snack craving.

5. I just started my business and I was reluctant to leave it behind

My fiance was offered the job July 2011. My nail spa opened in March. It was my baby because it was the first thing I’ve ever put up on my own. So since it was super young and new (and nice, and perfect and pretty… :P), I was very reluctant to leave it behind and have someone manage it.

6. Family and Friends are all in Manila

All the other reasons were all workable. (even # 5. Yes, my nail spa was new, but I have trusted girls who have been with me since we had another spa.  They all  had the routine down to a pat, so  showing up for a few hours every week would be enough to keep me on track).  Some of them were even ridiculously superficial. It was obvious that  I was just making up excuses for me not to make the move. At the end of the day, this was the only reason that mattered to me. I really couldn’t bear to leave my friends and family behind.

Ok, for those who live overseas, you’re probably laughing at how dramatic I’m being. Subic after all, is just a couple of hours away from Manila. The trip from Makati to Alabang during rush hour is probably more taxing (except for the fact that you had to pay an outrageous toll fee to get to Subic), but I’m unbelievably attached to my loved ones.

I’m blessed with numerous great relationships. My family is pretty tight-knit and we actually enjoy spending time with each other. I have circles of friends who are all fiercely loyal and supportive.  I’m sort of spoiled that way. Every time I go through some kind of difficulty, I immediately whine to at least one of  them (I rotate talking to them, so they don’t get sick of me. :)). So not having them at close proximity at a time when I felt I was extremely vulnerable seemed like a death sentence.

Besides, to be perfectly upfront,  it didn’t seem fair that I was leaving the people  who were there for me through thick and thin, to follow a  boyfriend (wasn’t even my fiance then) and work for a relationship  that was, at that particular moment in time, causing me so much grief.

But God really has a way of gently prodding you towards a certain direction. Gradually, all my reasons for not making the move were fading as it made way to stronger, more sound reasons of why I should. But this entry is getting too long, and some of you are probably glazing over, so will save that story for another day..

Moving to Subic

A map of Subic taken from Wikipedia. Actually researched this when I found out about the job offer. 😛

 

Was browsing through my posts and I realized that I never really wrote about why we moved to Subic. Kinda strange, since it is the title of my blog. . 🙂

Anyway, my fiance has always been a government person. As early as college, when we first met, he was actively involved in student council (So was I actually, but he was hard-core.  I was,  like every career that I eventually got into, just trying out different stuff). Since being a first lady was a career option for me, we seemed like the perfect fit. Hehehe.

The decision to move to Subic happened very quickly. From what I recall, the series of events that lead to it came to pass  in less than a month..

(Week 1, Monday):

His college e-groups sent out an email asking for people in his course if there was anyone interested in working as part of the SBMA think-tank. He’s the sort of person who cannot just do one thing, and the very idea of a new project always tickled his fancy, so he sent out his resume. He thought it was a brief consultancy position and not a permanent one though.

(Week 1, Friday):

A couple of days later,  he received a call that the Subic people were interested in having him on board. BUT they were considering him for a permanent post. I think he was kilig at the prospect of being offered such a key position, so he revealed to me that he actually really wanted to go to the interview.

The thing was, before all of this transpired, we knew nothing about Subic. The last time I was there was when I was in seventh grade. My class took the nature trek conducted by the Aetas. Then we went to Duty Free and gorged on imported chocolates on the way home. That’s it.

Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled that he was considering the position. He assured me however, that he was only going because he wanted to see if he could convince them to give him one-time consultancy work.

(Week 2 Saturday)

Anyway, he goes to the interview and tells me that it wasn’t an option anymore because they don’t have anything for him that’s part-time. But then he also starts talking animatedly about all the exciting plans Subic has laid out for development.

Ok, I’ve been with him for YEARS. And I could read him like a book. I knew that despite his nonchalance, he was considering the position. So I decided to nip his enthusiasm in the bud. I told him flat- out that there was no way I was going to be in a long- distance relationship, and if he goes to Subic, I will break up with him.

Before you judge me, let me give you a super quick background of where we were when this was all happening. We were recovering from a series of really awful events and I was questioning whether it was right for us to stay together. We were in the process of rebuilding trust and establishing new dynamics as a couple. I seriously felt that putting a 90 -km obstacle between us will break our already precarious relationship.

In all fairness to him, he did agree with me.

Week 3, Tuesday

Just when I thought this Subic matter can be finally laid to rest,  he experiences a major upheaval at work that made him decide that the job wasn’t for him. I really felt for him because there were alot of personal relationships at stake if he quits the job, so  I knew he went through months of emotional struggle before he finally reached his decision.

Week 3, Wednesday

He meets up with his friends and he tells them about what was happening at work . He also tells them about the offer in Subic. They get all excited for him and encourage him to take the job.
He picks me up from a friend’s birthday to tell me about their meeting. Take note that I was a bit tipsy when he ventured the topic so I was feeling quite combative.  I spent a good portion of  the drive to my house ranting about how I felt backed up in a corner, and once again, I had to make sacrifices to make things work out. I remained staunch in my stand. If you take the job in Subic, I’m out.  But then, he tells me with the utmost sincerity that this was our decision, not just his. And if I feel that I won’t be happy with him in Subic, he’ll let the opportunity go.

Crap.

Here’s a secret trait of mine, I’m a very opinionated person. And I will not back down even if you huff, puff and scream at me. I will probably scream just as loudly until I get YOU to back down. BUT the minute you act all nice and considerate, my inner button for either guilt or compassion gets activated and I let you have your way (for friends who know me, please don’t use this information against me. I’m on to you!  That goes for you too, fiance).

After blustering and sputtering,   I told him with all clarity and calmness  my inebriated state could muster, that I would go with him to Subic so I could make a proper informed decision.

He was  ofcourse delighted.

Week 3,  Saturday

We take the trip to Subic and it wasn’t off to a great start. When we got there, we met his potential boss in Starbucks and he invited us to his house for dinner.  We were kinda not prepared to stay for that long. We thought we were taking a very quick day trip so we had no nice clothes to wear etc.  Normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem, but, stupid me left the car keys inside the car. I had to sweet talk a mechanic to help us fish them out.

To add icing to this very rotten cake, a friend of his who was in the area also wanted to meet up. Take note that I had biases against this person. While I respect his friends encouraging him to move to Subic, I had sour spot for this particular buddy of his because he seemed to be pushing a tad bit too hard, totally brushing off the possibility that this move will wreak havoc on our relationship. It seemed like he was insinuating that career advancement was much much more important than our decade-long relationship. AND, he also didn’t seem to care that my keys were stuck inside the car. He wanted us to leave it where it was parked, in a place where we didn’t know anyone, so he and my boyfriend could talk. Humph (I was feeling sulky at that time. I’m over it though. I’m pretty cool with his friend now).

I wanted to throw a bitch fit. But I had to grit my teeth and endure the pleasantries while they talked about life in the Bay.

Needless to say, by the time the dinner with his potential boss rolled around, I was hot, sticky and cranky. I  tried to summon my inner Jackie O. But who was I kidding? I was never a Jackie to begin with. I was more of an Evita Perron or an Imelda Marcos— on my good days. So the series of events had me all Jackie-d out. I really didn’t want to be the shrew but given the circumstances, I was afraid my efforts to be reserved and gracious would come out as sullen and grouchy.

My apprehensions were dashed however, when I finally met his potential boss’ entire family. They were all so pleasant and warm that I didn’t have to pretend to be having a good time. The conversation flowed effortlessly.  What made things even better was the fact that they were all so genuine.

The thing was, ever since my boyfriend was in law school,  I was taken aback how pretentious his world was. I grew up in a relatively simple and straightforward environment. Although my family’s quite comfortable, we can never be considered rich nor powerful. And even though my friends come from affluent backgrounds, they’re more or less unassuming and authentic.  There are alot of good people in his circle, but  it was also filled with ambitious individuals with hidden agendas. I could never really be myself or speak my mind when I’m around them.

I didn’t have the same feeling with his boss-to-be’s family. They were far from being the Brady Bunch, but they were more or less like the normal folks that I was used to.

My gut told me that given the internal struggles my boyfriend was going through, this type of environment would help him grow and rediscover who he used to be. And it became crystal clear that to me that this was where he belonged, at least for this particular moment in time. In my heart, I just couldn’t deprive him of this opportunity. I mean, this was more than just career advancement that we’re talking about. This was the perfect place for him emotionally as well.

When we got to the hotel, I told him that I really, really wanted him to move to Subic.  I was now willing to support his decision, and will try my hardest to make the relationship work out. However, he also had to realize that if this proved not to be healthy for me, then he had to be willing to let me go as well. Maybe it was a sign that we weren’t meant to work out.

He thought about it and decided that it was the best thing we can do given the circumstances.

So.. there. Was mighty proud that we solved the problem semi-logically. Aside from my drunken outburst, we went through the process maturely and semi-painlessly. I think we even shook on it. 😛

Ofcourse, my resolve  to move to Subic with him is another story altogether. It took months of confusion and uncertainty before I got comfortable with the idea… Until now, the gravity of this choice  hasn’t fully sunk in.

But I’m happy that at least, after all these years, we’re finally learning how to make  decisions together.

No Other Woman

Poster courtesy of Star Cinema

So I just watched “No Other Woman” in Cinema One, and like the first time I watched it in the movie house, I got so affected.  So much so that I wanted to slap Derek Ramsey’s  chiseled face and kick him in the balls (which are probably made out of steel just like the rest of his body, so he’ll probably just laugh at my puny attempts to hurt him).

I really thought about not writing about this. Among all the things I will end up choosing to write about, this will probably raise the most eyebrows. But if I’m  gonna stay true to the purpose of this blog (rediscovering myself, re-affirming my beliefs) I cannot really pass up the opportunity to write something I have such passionate feelings about.

So, (deep breath).. Here are some personal lessons I learned about dealing with infidelity:

1. Your gut is always right

We all believe that an essential part of relationships is trust. And to this day, I firmly believe that. The danger of this belief is though, that if upheld to the extreme, it can lead to you turning a blind eye to something that needs attention. I think our bodies are well-trained to sense danger. And sometimes, you just know. I can’t  describe it.  A harmless mention of a name or a supposed event that doesn’t mean anything can trigger feelings of suspicion that you can’t quite put a finger on. But because you don’t want to be the psycho partner, you brush it off. One thing I learned though, is that it’s never nothing. Feeling iffy about the relationship probably means there’s something that needs exploring. It may be that your worst fears are true, there is someone else. Or it could be that there’s really just a disconnect between the two of you. So confront, question or do something about it. But it may not be very wise to just ignore whatever it is that you’re feeling. At the end of the day, although it’s very important to trust your partner, it’s even more important to trust yourself.

2. It’s not just about you

I remember a counselor who told me that it takes two to tango. So it’s wise to examine yourself and figure out what was it in you that caused your partner to cheat on you. I wanted to strangle her. The thing is, one of the most hearbreaking effects of dealing with infidelity is the gut-wrenching feeling that there’s something wrong with you. You get it into your head that you’re not lovable and there must have been something that you’ve done to deserve this. But it’s never because you’re ugly or fat. It’s not because you can’t cook or take care of your partner. We all have weaknesses.  You may be the biggest nag in the face of planet, and you may even go as far as saying that your personal quirks contributed to problems in your relationship, but it was your partner’s own weaknesses that caused him or her to cheat. If they were really unhappy, then they could have left or found a way to fix things. But it doesn’t give them the the right to betray you or cheat on you.

If you see problems in yourself because of the experience that you want to improve on, then good for you. But indulging in self-loathing and needless blame just isn’t healthy for your  already broken heart.

3. Do not waste energy blaming the third party

It’s so easy to villainify (tama ba spelling) the other  woman/man. . It’s so easy to think that your precious loved one was just seduced but some latex-wearing vixen or some smooth -talking cassanova. Believe me, I’ve indulged in my own level of cattiness (I think boycotting Angelina Jolie films  when she broke up Jen and Brad’s marriage really did a number on her popularity). But I think a part of healing means facing the truth. Your partner was just as culpable as the third party. Even more so, because unless this other person is a sister, brother or best friend, they really have no responsibility towards you (well, other than the responsibility of treating you with respect like any human being. So I guess it’s justifiable to judge them. :P). The sooner that this fact is accepted, the sooner you can move on and get to the bottom of the real problem.

4. Learn when to let go

Contrary to what Christine Reyes did (yes, she’s my peg for the scorned wife),  I really don’t believe in fighting for my man. Because no matter how much you fight or cajole,  even if you challenge the mistress (or the male-equivalent) to fisticuffs, it won’t work if your partner isn’t willing or is incapable of  making it work. If you push for the relationship even if he or she isn’t ready, then there’s a possibility that  he or she will hurt you again. And I personally think you owe yourself the dignity of getting out if this is really the case.

5. Forgiveness is the most important thing in the healing process

Just as blaming the third person isn’t healthy, it may even be more  important to realize that your partner is only human. They may have committed that most colossal mistake one can commit in a relationship, but  they are probably not the devil incarnate either. It hurt. And you most certainly didn’t deserve it. But chances are, there’s a deeper issue there and cheating on you is just the tip of the iceberg. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean staying and putting up with more crap. Nor does it mean letting go and just chalking things up to experience. It just means not letting the bitterness and the hate define who you are as a person. Because whether you choose to give it another shot or break up ,you still have to live with yourself. And you’ve gone through enough allow yourself to carry the excess baggage.

11 years

My fiance and I celebrated our eleventh year as a couple yesterday. Although it’s our last anniversary as boyfriend and girlfriend, we didn’t pull out all the romantic stops. We just spent some precious quality time together (he’s been based in Subic for the past year, so spending weekdays with him is always a treat) . He talked about his day and shared the stress and pressure he was feeling at work, I talked about my latest favorite venture (my blogging), made a few running commentaries about the people we know over dinner, had a drink each at the bar, went to visit my dad in the cemetery then went home.  It was pretty perfect if you ask me, since it sort of gave me a preview of how we will be as a married couple.

I already wrote sappy piece on our relationship in our wedding website, so will hold the mush this time.  However, would like to commemorate our 11 years by writing 11 facts about us.

1. Our first “real” date wasn’t even a date. 

One of my god daughters was celebrating her first birthday. Her mom told me to invite a friend so I wouldn’t get bored. It so happened that we were texting that same night, so I asked him if he wanted to go. He said yes. Little did I know that he actually considered it a date. I just wanted kasama. It was in McDonald’s. We didn’t even pay for our food for crying out loud.

2. We call each other mister and missy.

Don’t ask me why. I forget where these pet names originated. Now he wants to call me missus when we’re married. Uh… no.

3. A lot of our significant memories were inside his car

We got close because I rode his car in one of our org’s emergency projects. As friends, he would bring me home alot so alot of our getting-to-know-you’s were in the car. Our first kiss was also in the car. Even our first official breakup was in the car. 11 years later, our most engaging conversations are still in the car. If I give birth to our first baby in the car it would be a full circle moment.

4. Unless we have social obligations, we are perfectly content vegging out on weekends. 

More often than not, we would spend  two full days in his room. I would be on his ipad playing Jojo. He would be on his laptop catching up with work. Occasionally we would bicker about what to watch on TV. One of us would fall asleep and the other one would steal the remote  until the other one wakes up and demands tv control. And the cycle goes on and until the following day. It sounds boring for a lot of people. But for us, it’s perfect.

5. We both like watching Filipino movies.

I think Cinemaone is the only channel we agree on. Our favorites? Any movie with John Lloyd Cruz, Aga Mulach, Eugene Domingo or Vilma Santos. We also watch the occassional flicks by Anne Curtis, Toni Gonzaga or Luis Manzano.

6. We take our photobooth very seriously 

We practice our poses and love hamming it up. We’re more subdued when it’s his event though because he has an image to uphold. 😛  We even have goofy poses in my camera that I’m not allowed to upload. Lately though, we’ve ran out of material so making a mental note to brush up on poses.

6. He’s the dreamer, I’m the realist.

This can be a surprise for people who know us because I can easily be pegged as the flighty one. But he actually comes up with the wonderful, lofty dreams and is very optimistic about our future. I kinda rain on his parade by asking about the tangibles.

7. He’s spender, I’m a saver

We both don’t like feeling poor but we manifest it in different ways. He doesn’t like feeling deprived, so he buys expensive things. I don’t like the insecurity of not having money, so I can go on for months with just spending on absolute necessities.

8. I’m warm and friendly, he’s sedate and formal

I form instant friendships with people. It takes him a while to warm up. If you read our emails and letters, mine are usually short, friendly and a bit casual (even if those letters are for business purposes), his are detailed, formal and proper (even if those letters are for  family).

9. Our pet peeves about each other:

Mine: He takes forever to put his socks and shoes on. I kid you not. He usually dresses up with the TV on. So he puts one sock on. Pauses. Watches the rest of the show. When the commerical break comes on, he puts on the next sock. Then waits til the next commercial before putting on one shoe.

His: I  pressure him to react when I’m telling a story. According to him,  I talk about something animatedly,  then stop mid-story to wait for him to say or do something. The lull can last uncomfortably long until he gives a nod or an appropriate acknowledgment that he’s still with me before I continue with the story (I don’t know why that’s annoying though. It’s the normal dynamics of a conversation).

11. We’re each other’s best friend and can talk about anything 

I felt the 11th one should be an ‘aww’ piece. But it sort of came out cliche. It’s the truth though. If there’s any strength in our relationship, it’s the fact that we can always talk. We talk mundane every day things , deep philosophical ideas, stupid funny anecdotes, it doesn’t even matter how uncomfortable the topic or the situation is. We can talk. There is no topic that’s taboo. No question that’s off -limits.

I think this trait of ours saved us alot in the past. We would have broken up a long time ago if we didn’t know how to express ourselves with each other.

So, to my husband to be, cheers to our dramatic but boring relationship. Writing this piece made me realize how excited I am to marry you. 🙂