Just to recap: Boyfriend was offered a job in Subic. After thinking things through, I realized it was the perfect opportunity for him. So decided to not hold him back and support him.
Obviously, given the length of the time we had to make the decision, I still had a lot of misgivings about it. I was happy that he found his dream job. But it still left alot of uncertainties in our relationship.
I mean, he’s where he was supposed to be. But where did that leave me?
When this was all happening, we were far from being engaged. Infact we were in a make or break stage as a couple. But since we have been together for a decade, marriage was on the table.
Being in a long-distance relationship was never an option. Especially if we were already thinking long-term. However, at that point, I wasn’t sure if Subic was for me.
Here were my reasons why:
1. House is musty
His job offer came with a house that he could use for the duration of his post. It’s actually a nice house. Probably an officer’s place back when Subic was still an American base. But it hasn’t been used for years. I don’t mind the usual wear and tear (a leak on the roof, broken cupboards), but it smelled unbelievably funky. His company had allotted budget to fix the place up, but I wasn’t sure if the moldy smell came from mildew growing in between the walls. If that was the case, the place needed a major overhaul and I don’t think they would shell out that much money.
I know I was being a priss, but I really am deathly allergic to dust and mold. Just going through my closet for a bit of spring cleaning would send me into a sneezing frenzy. My allergies are so bad that I’m immune to alot of antihistamine meds. I only have one nasal spray that works on me, and I have to use it sparingly because doctor feels I might get immune to that too.
2. House probably has mumu
Behind the house is a virgin forest. Personally, I believe in spirits, ghosts, fairies, dwarves, kapres and all those crazy other world entities. And although I’m from being a wimp, living right infront of an untouched forest for me is asking for trouble (watch enough Filipino horror movies and you’ll know what I’m talking about). The last thing that I want is to be alone in the house while he’s at work, and I have some ghost trying to make nice.
3. There are monkeys and birds and all sorts of animals in the backyard
Like I said, house is surrounded by a virgin forest. And if you look out the window, aside from flocks of birds, there are probably 100 monkeys (not exaggerating) climbing trees and going about their business. As a matter of fact, they’re so at home in the entire Subic area that you often see them crossing the streets, going through the trash etc.
I know of people who would probably clap with glee at just the thought of being this close to nature. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. I’m so not an animal lover. I’d croon over a cute puppy, but that’s it. I don’t have the urge to own one nor take care of one (although in a weak vulnerable moment, I wanted a tiny furry shitzu). Besides, these monkeys are not the sweet, docile, endearing ones you see on TV. They’re hooligans.
I was warned by someone from Subic that I should never ever make an attempt to feed the monkeys (as if I needed a warning!). There was a particular story of some guy who gave one monkey food. The following day, around the same time, monkey knocks on his door and asks for more food. Although utterly amazed, he ignores it and shuts the door. It kinda goes berzerk and tries to unlock the window.
Just thinking about them makes me nervous. Truth be told, I’d rather deal with an errant spirit than a hungry monkey.
4. Everything around Subic Bay closes at 12. Select establishments close at 1.
It gets eerily quiet at night inside the Freeport Zone. And although I think I’ve seen the last of my partying days, I am an insomiac. So it’s sort of disconcerting for me to have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING close by midnight. Besides, it would be nice not to pay for toll just to satisfy a midnight snack craving.
5. I just started my business and I was reluctant to leave it behind
My fiance was offered the job July 2011. My nail spa opened in March. It was my baby because it was the first thing I’ve ever put up on my own. So since it was super young and new (and nice, and perfect and pretty… :P), I was very reluctant to leave it behind and have someone manage it.
6. Family and Friends are all in Manila
All the other reasons were all workable. (even # 5. Yes, my nail spa was new, but I have trusted girls who have been with me since we had another spa. They all had the routine down to a pat, so showing up for a few hours every week would be enough to keep me on track). Some of them were even ridiculously superficial. It was obvious that I was just making up excuses for me not to make the move. At the end of the day, this was the only reason that mattered to me. I really couldn’t bear to leave my friends and family behind.
Ok, for those who live overseas, you’re probably laughing at how dramatic I’m being. Subic after all, is just a couple of hours away from Manila. The trip from Makati to Alabang during rush hour is probably more taxing (except for the fact that you had to pay an outrageous toll fee to get to Subic), but I’m unbelievably attached to my loved ones.
I’m blessed with numerous great relationships. My family is pretty tight-knit and we actually enjoy spending time with each other. I have circles of friends who are all fiercely loyal and supportive. I’m sort of spoiled that way. Every time I go through some kind of difficulty, I immediately whine to at least one of them (I rotate talking to them, so they don’t get sick of me. :)). So not having them at close proximity at a time when I felt I was extremely vulnerable seemed like a death sentence.
Besides, to be perfectly upfront, it didn’t seem fair that I was leaving the people who were there for me through thick and thin, to follow a boyfriend (wasn’t even my fiance then) and work for a relationship that was, at that particular moment in time, causing me so much grief.
But God really has a way of gently prodding you towards a certain direction. Gradually, all my reasons for not making the move were fading as it made way to stronger, more sound reasons of why I should. But this entry is getting too long, and some of you are probably glazing over, so will save that story for another day..